theclientslist

It’s Friday morning, I’ve just woken up.

Last night I had a dream that I took a tour of the “Dream House”. Jeff Lewis from that Bravo show had bought it and was trying to flip it. It was an open house. Jeff kinda resembles my ex-husband “the ultimate client”, without the lips. And without being gay.

“Hi, my name’s XXX. My ex-husband built this house, I was wondering if I could take a tour?” I ask him as I’m walking in

“Of course, c’mon in. You know, your ex has a pretty bad reputation.” he tells me as he gives me a once over

“I know. That’s why he’s an ex.”

We proceed to walk through the mansion. It’s completely re-done and decorated. It looks beautiful. I begin to imagine what it would be like living there. We walk through the entire house ending up in the bedroom. In an instant, I have Jeff on the huge California King bed. He’s lying down and I’m on top of him.. slowly un-buckling his pants…

I know you’re gay, but that doesn’t matter. Maybe you’re confused. Maybe you just need me to come along and snap you out of it. Maybe you…I suddenly wake up.

Back to reality, I start to think about “Facebook” guy. I’ve projected my needs and wants onto him. Maybe he needs to lose himself, maybe he needs an evening to forget about his pain and hurt…the memories of yet another failed relationship still pulling on his heart. Weighing heavy with hurt and regret. I’ll gift myself to him, and we can immerse ourselves in a complete sexual oblivion. Nothing will be off limits…wild passionate raw sex. Pure unadulterated fucking. No emotions being felt…no feelings being questioned or analyzed. Please just fuck me, don’t let me feel anymore…I will whisper in his ear. But as always, I will need that connection. So as he’s on top of me thrusting away…I will stop him and look deep into his eyes. His sweat dripping down on me like raindrops… Tell me you love me, lie to me. Tell me you love me. I want to believe it, if only for a brief moment I beg him to tell me

“I love you”..he finally says out loud, as he continues to fuck me.

This will soon end with me ultimately feeling empty. Far worst than I’d felt beforehand. There will be no magical sparks igniting all around us, there will be no butterflies fluttering around in our tummies…it will just be sex. Nothing more.

Text  Friday 9:13am

Hey sexy, what time can you meet tonight?

Hmm…how about 730 or 8?

Mmm..long time to wait. Sounds great. What area are you in?

XXX..how about we meet in the XXX. That should be close to both of us.

How about some place closer to you? I dreamt of you last night.

Well, let me figure out where to meet. It’s pretty desolate out here. I’ll text you in the afternoon.

Oh, poor baby n the boundocks. K. think about me today.

I will.

Oohh..he just called me “poor baby”. He knows I’m hurting and in pain. Maybe we can just cuddle. He can hold me and make me feel safe. I need to feel safe.He can kiss me softly and tenderly. All the while telling me how special I am, just how loveable he views me.

Good lord, here I go again…

 

**The worst part of this whole scenario…is when you can call yourself out on your own bull shit. When you are smart enough to realize that you’re about to do something stupid. And yes, I know. I’m stupid.

I’m not sure what’s going to happen. All I know is that, I don’t want any cock tonight. I also don’t want any ice cream. And I’m on the fence about the drink.

Stay Tuned.. 

I’m tired, sleepy…hurt and broken. Still broken after all this time. But I’m ready to move on. Ready to let go…Of those hopes and dreams that were once so fresh in my memory. There were promises of a new start and a new life, but it was nothing but the same. Still selfish, cold and indifferent. Still you.

I want to lose myself. I want to be reckless, wild and free. I want to throw caution to the wind and give myself away. And I will. I’m going to. I need to. I am. It’s been over two years….

Earlier text message’s between “Facebook/Match Guy” and myself.: These messages show how a simple “drink” can turn into a future notch on my belt. Yes, MY belt. Read the texts correctly..I am the hunter, he is my prey…

March 15th 1:53pm

Hi, its X. I hope you’re having a wonderful day… Let me know if you ever want to grab that drink with me….no strings, just a sweet diversion….

Hmmm…thought u found a better option.

No..I’m not dating. The truth is, I’m not ready to date. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t just trying to convince myself of that. I’d still like to hang out though. I don’t like drama…and don’t like to create it. So I stepped back a little. Anyway, I’m sorry I cancelled. I hope you understand and if you’ve changed your mind on the drink.. No problem. Take care.

No, I’m always low drama. I would love to grab a drink with you. I just wanted to keep things chilled and fun. Was surprised u cancelled like that. Didn’ t know what that meant.

I’m sorry.

No worries. Not mad. How’s ur day going?

It’s ok….it’s gorgeous outside!! How about yours?

Great. Better when I can flirt with u .

Haha… So, when can I actually flirt with you in the flesh?

Well let’s figure out the drink thing again. Hopefully u won’t bail again .

I won’t…promise.

K. Let’s try again. We may have missed out on the funnest weekend and week ever.

Or just evening… Who knows?! lol Just kidding!!

I may b free tonight. R u?

Sorry, I’m not this evening.  I’m available tomorrow night. Or even Sat afternoon or Sun afternoon. Since it’s just “chill”… I don’t want to alter my whole weekend for you. Now if we meet and it’s love at first sight…then every evening can be available for you. lol

Hmm..I’m thinkin u will wish u altered your “whole weekend” for me but I could be wrong. . Ok, we can keep trying. Meanwhile try to be your true sweet self. And remember..the caterpillar knows.

**In our last conversation a week ago, I named him Caterpillar, as a joke**

Well, the caterpillar should know that evenings are tough to schedule with a sitter last minute…lol We’ll keep in touch then. I’ve waited three years…I can keep waiting… lol Have a great day!!

Oh..sorry sweetie, thought the kids were gone this week. Must have misunderstood. Tomorrow may work. Can we chat later?

It was this past weekend. I have them now. Yes, text me later.

**A couple of hours later**

At the XX. Lots of peeps but not too bad.

What is XX?

A band..lol. XXXX Shores. Just walked down from XX coffee. What u doing?

Writing. I’m writing my first novel. Believe it or not.

Think there may b a delay on texts due to volume.

Oh..you having a good time?

Cool. What about?

Single mom dating. The good, the bad, and the ugly. lol

Wow..can’t wait to c my entry. Hmmm..eenie meenie monie mo. Lol..

It’s top secret.

R u saying if we’re makin love to each other this info is off limits? Guess I could buy the book..lol.

Wow, you’re really flirting tonight. You drinking…or are you naturally this forward? Btw.. I’ve never made love to anyone. I’d rather just fuck.

Lol..touche. Whens the book publish?

When I finally finish it. I just started a month ago.

No drinks yet. Might not tonight. Need my  rest.

Go back to flirting…

Lol..that’s y u bailed the other night huh? Thought I was too much the prude? Tell me the truth . I’m weird. Way sensual but hate strip clubs etc… Unconventional perhaps. Ill flirt when I get outa here. Someones readin my texts..lol.

No, honestly… I bailed because you’ve just ended your engagement. After you told me, I really needed to make sure I wouldn’t get attached…I mean if there were any sparks when we met. So I pulled back. The reality is… And forgive me for being forward, is that I’m not looking to date. I just ended an engagement too…got burned and well, need to recoup. But I think I might recoup faster with some sort of distraction. Ok.. Text me later. Tell whoever is reading my texts…Hi!! lol

You up?

Yes. How was your evening?

Walkin back to my car… What r u doing?

Writing. You? Hmm… Are you  drunk ? lol Be careful driving caterpillar…

One beer..expound on the virtues of kissing. Could b a chapter.

Hmm… Interesting… lol Send me a pic.

You send me a pic.

I don’t have anymore lol

Hmmm..I could. Naughty or nice..lol.

Well, since we’re just “chill”… I’m leaning toward naughty. lol

Hmmm… What say you?

Man..u and that chill. If I said I wanted to ride u like a bronco u would get offended. If I say we should b chill u get offended. Lol..help!

I’m not offended!! lol

Ok..well ill keep my preferance of those options way under wraps . U don’t know.

There are two sides to me…1.Reserved, conservative 2. Open minded, free spirit. Mary Ann with a touch of Ginger…. lol

Thay aren’t mutually exlusive..I hear ya.

I don’t get offended easily. I’d rather meet the “real” you than your representative…

R u a good kisser? If so y?

Hmm… I am. Because I’m Latin and passion runs through my veins.

I’m pretty direct. Communicartion is key.

I concur, communication is fundamental…

I hear ya on latin passion, though I know one who kissed like a plunger. Lol.

Oh good lord… It was the wrong Latin girl then. lol

Driving

Be careful.

I’m not sure u don’t get offended easy

Why do u say that? I’m sensitive, I do get my emotions hurt. But I’m not easily offended. Your flirtation could easily offend some women… I find it to be rather cute.

Great song

Which one

Petty. 9XX

Nice

You’re nice…Hope u can kiss

Hope you can do other things… Lol

Bet on it Haha

I’m being pretty naughty… Sorry

Y sorry? U need to be kissed thoroughly.

You are so fucking right… You have no earthly idea.

Yes I do. I’ve been single for a few months . I want to make u shy and turned on

Yeah, me too…single for a while. But I’m a woman though. I’m probably a little more hurt and broken than you. Well, maybe you’re hurt too… I’m not sure. I’m naturally shy… But am very different in the throws of animalistic passion. Don’t laugh, I’m serious!! lol

Ya but I feel my exs hurt like its mine.

Well, then maybe you can understand my pain a little. And why I’d want to forget about it, if only for an evening out for a “drink”….

I like the exciting awkwardness of the first kiss

Wow… I feel like a perv. You’re hung up on the first kiss, while I’m already four steps ahead of you. lol I’m backtracking… No worries, I like first kisses too.

Mmm.. Slow is fun. Like things charged to the breaking point before my lips nuzzle ur hardened nipples and u can’t help but moan a little.

Would you consider yourself to be dominant/submissive/ neutral? Curious

Kissing u through ur clothes is such a turn on.  I’m Empathetic. The key to doing anything great from music to art. Know ur audience and what their feeling. Adjust accordingly. I might tie u up and push u o ver my sofa or just kiss for an hour. Empathy the key to greatness.

I’ll bite….sounds delish.

Mmmm..it does. Especially as beautiful as u r. Undressing u for the first time would be so fun. I want u to watch me looking at ur body. Want to c u respond as u see the desire n my eyes.

I’m blushing…

Want to c ur shyness the first time my tongue slides over ur beautiful ass.. Mmmm.. So hot! Be fun to get u wet before u ever met me Finally home!

Can I ask you a question… As you’re telling me all this.. Is there any hurt or feelings you feel for your ex? Don’t get me wrong, I’m turned on by the thought of being with you.. and I do…I want to fucking lose myself with you…but at the same time, I’m thinking about lost loves and broken promises. Maybe I’ve been writing too much today… I’m very analytical… And am also a deep thinker. Besides sexual as hell Don’t hold it against me..

There will always b hurt and feelings for those I’ve loved. That is life and I still wish her all the happiness in the world. I would die if I hurt her m ore somehow but its always that way for those u truly love. N my bed finally!

Yes, I suppose you’re right.

That was a slow response..lol. K. I better stop flirting. Whatcha doing?

Imagining you taking off your pants and touching yourself..

Mmmm..should send u a pic

Imagining you, imagining me… Touching you, kissing you, riding you…

Ur going to get me hard chica!

Please.. Do. I’m a great lover, I never say no… To anything… Send me a pic.

Ugh..a couple months away from being n shape. It would turn u off. Mmm..now I am hard. Damn!

Of your cock

K it will show my messy ass bed..lol.

I want to see what I may be riding in the near future. Or may be putting deep in my mouth… Mmm… I can almost taste you.

ur killin me. I’m going to have to start masturbating!

SENDS PIC (Of Body)

You do have a messy ass bed. Haha!! But I want to see your cock, in all it’s glory.

Damn..no reponse to my pic? Cock for a boob

Oh, caterpillar… You look hot love.

Hmm… Ok Lol…whatever! That was a slow delayed response. That’s alright. Ill get there soon. Then ill tease u .

Haha Alright then… I better get to bed, and you better get to sleep. Dream about me.

So I can wake u up at 3am with my cock n u and u will let me get off? Ahhh. Y the hurry. Not even 11

Yes. If I’m in love with you… I never say no. If I like you, I may have a headache every now and again. lol

Where’s my pic. I took one

Send it, then I’ll send mine No hard on though. Sorry. U stopped talking dirty.

SENT PIC (Of cock..not fully aroused)

What?! I want it hard!! lol

Hanging left. Hard when u get me there. Lol. Ur demanding. K that wasn’t very flattering. U will have to get me hard if u want a better pic next time.

Wait, don’t you have dark brown hair?! Is someone else with you?! lol

Don’t like u seeing me without its full potential

Oh, caterpillar…I like it.

Damn..u suck! lol

I like it, I like it! haha

Whatever. Shouldn’t have sent it. Oh well.

You’re so cute.

Triple it up with a hard on and u might . U owe me.

I SENT HIM PIC

I took it at work… When I was closing my office and had gotten back from the gym. It’s a little bit of boob. It’s taken last month

Beautiful..but where’s the nip. I shoulda held out on ya. K I’m cutting u off. No more flirting, no more pics, nothing!

You’re easy… Just what I need. Easy, breezy, no strings Lol..

whatever. U assume a lot.

So I can’t have you?

Don’t know yet. lol  I really don’t sleep around. I’m sexual and overt but not a player. K. Wish we had stayed flirting. That was hotter

Babe, nothing has happened yet. I’m a lot like a man… The chase is far better than the catch, unless there is an emotional buildup.

Lol…not concerned. I’m just playing. Damn..sounds like bad experiences. The catch otta rock ur world. The chase is the catch. Oh ya. And y the unfriend on facebook?

No, I took my Facebook down… I told you I was in the process of doing that.. No dating, no Facebook, no Match… Just writing my book.

Hmmm..I think u didn’t want me masturbating to ur pics..lol.

No, silly. lol You’ll have the real thing soon.

K..guess I shouldn’t b distracting u then . Dang. I didn’t realize how badly I need to fuck till tonight. Ugh!! Haha I’m calling you!!

He calls me a couple of minutes later and we talk on the phone for over three hours. On the phone, I’m shy and reserved. He asks me about my favorite childhood memory and about my dream date. I expect him to want to keep flirting and to continue talking about explicit sexual acts…but he’s gentle and sweet. And our conversation continues on a more “traditional” pattern.

He’s the perfect combination of sensual sweetness and sexual passion. The perfect guy for me to use for my own sexual deviant perversion…The perfect guy to get under, while I get over my horrible past years trials an tribulations.

I want him..and I shall have him. The thought of chewing him up and spitting him out afterwards, is inevitable. But there is still that small little part of me that wishes, just wishes he could be the ONE.

But he’s not. And I know that he’s not. If he had been, I wouldn’t have asked him to send me a pic of his cock, and he wouldn’t have obliged and sent it. We both preformed a dance. We’ve placed our cards on the table, we both know what the other wants and needs. A good hard fuck. Plain and simple. We want to lose ourselves, if only for an evening.

I’ve chosen him because, we’re both in the same place in life. We both ended our engagements to other people this past year. We’re both a little hurt and bruised and we both need to get lost in someone or something. I will be that someone for him, and he will be mine. And it’ll just be a…. “drink.”

“What’s your favorite childhood memory?” he asks me

“Hmm, I don’t know. No one has ever asked me that before. And the truth is, I really don’t have many. But I think…and I come up with one “Ok, I have one. One of my fondest memories is waiting for the ice cream truck to come by my neighborhood in the summers. My parents would give me a quarter and I’d always buy a coconut popsicle. That always brought I smile to my face. I can still hear the ice cream trucks theme melody” I tell him

“That’s awesome. You know, that’s what we’ll do on our first date. We’re going to drive around until we find an ice cream truck.” he says

“I thought we were getting a drink”  I start laughing

“We will, we can do both.” he responds

The perfect combination of sweet and sexy. How delicious….

Stay Tuned…